Monthly review -- July 7th-July 29th

July has just completely flown by! Yup.. and I still haven't mastered the art of weekly updates! :)

So many little things have happened and I have really had trouble with staying on task with weekly updates, so now as the month comes to a close I figured I should hurry up and give brief updates on the month before we roll into August.

Madison looking like a "New Yorker" before her trip

Madison has had quite the busy month. (what else is new-- I feel like every month is busy for her) Dance picked back up for the summer and once again she is dancing far more than I could even imagine.  She does an hour on Tuesdays and the 4 hours on both Wednesday and Thursday. Good thing is that they are only 5 week summer classes, so she is off from dance after this week for a little while. The beginning of the month caused us to bump heads quite a bit because she had wanted to schedule several sleepovers, but I only allowed for one because it was a birthday party/ sleepover combo and they were friends from school.... I am trying to reduce the number of sleepovers and play dates and get togethers.  And not because I don't trust those people, but for one- Madison has expressed how she would rather go to a sleepover than to have one at her house because her house is boring and I am no fun.  Another reason-  our family is still lacking any sense of structure.  And I think that I may be to blame.  So in an effort to fix that, I am going to be having a hold on get togethers for a little while.. especially for this last half of the summer except for a few pre planned events.
     Madison also went to New York for the 3rd time this past summer.  We had decided that this would be the last time she would go for a little while.  A little bittersweet for her, but she says she had a good time.  Luques and Karina always hope to be able to steal her away for a little bit to spend some time with her, but with the schedules and rules, it never works out, but Madison and Karina texted at least so she knew they wanted to see her.  She took several pictures at the Central Park Zoo and I hope to upload those in a separate post in the near future.  They also went to see Cinderella on Broadway-- SO JEALOUS!!  I am so grateful that Madison has these opportunities and appreciative of all the people that help Damian and I out with getting her there!

Happy 3rd birthday Mayci

Mayci has had an exciting month.   She went to her friend Alyce's birthday party--Frozen themed!  She was so excited because she got to dress like a princess and decided on Belle, since that was the costume that we already had.  Of course it had to be the hottest day ever, but she had fun eating, playing on the bouncy house, and climbing in and out of the pool a couple times. Dance started for Mayci this month.  Morlock School of Dance offers 5 week summer classes, so we thought it would be best for Mayci to try out then.  She only made it to 3 of the 5 because of swimming lessons, but seems to be doing okay( that's what Liz says) so she will definitely pick back up in the fall.  I can only imagine what she will look like on stage at the recital :)  Swimming is going well.. it's a parent and tot class to familiarize the kids with the water and she did attend when she was 1, but because of the gap between, we started her from the beginning.  Timing was a little off for me and Damian so Mama (Abby) has been taking both her and Myles and getting in the water with Mayci.  Mayci comes home tired, but says that she has fun.  Another milestone is potty training.  My ultimate goal was to get her potty trained before she was 3.  She is pretty much there except for the occasional accidents and her fear of going #2 in the potty.  But we will keep working on that.  Sometimes I think that Damian and I sabotage her by putting her in Pull-ups or Diapers when we feel it is inconvenient for us to worry about the bathroom, but I am getting better. 
Mayci also turned 3 on the 27th!!  What?!?!  I know-- my baby is no longer a baby anymore.  Wearing undies and being 3- my goodness, definitely a big girl.  On the 26th, Ted and Abby hosted a birthday party at their home for her.  She was so excited.. and of course-- it was Princess themed.  I took several pictures on my phone and just a few on my camera, so I will post them in a separate post.  I am also hoping to get the pictures that Byron Dean took at her party also.  I know they will be AMAZING!!  On her actual birthday we went over to my parents house so my parents, sisters, and Jaida could sing happy birthday to her and give her her gifts.

Notice Mayci's outfits in these pics..  this is her new choice of  outfits  A "pocketbook", undies, and a shirt!!

Happy Birthday Alyce!!

Myles started soccer and basketball this month.  Whew--  who knew that the parents need to be as involved as they do hahaha.  Normally Damian takes him to both, but because of work, I had to take him. Lord have mercy- I thought I was going to pass out- running around with him in the gross heat.  Not to mention I had to keep Mayci contained as well.  I will say though, I notice a huge improvement in both sports for him.  And he seems to be enjoying them a bit more this year than last.  I am hoping to keep both sports going throughout the course of the year based on their availability, but only time will tell.  Mr Myles is getting ready to start kindergarten this year!  I try to talk about it at least once a day so that it stays fresh in his mind, especially as we draw near.  And with how fast time seems to be going, the first day of school will be here before you know it.  I worry about him a lot starting school.  This will be something so completely different for him.  He has always been with either Mama and PopUp, Damian, or me.  He acts like he understands, but I'm not so sure.  I mean, getting on a bus by yourself with a backpack and a lunchbox, then arriving at a school that you have only been to once, and having all those kids and teachers around, and trying to give someone your information so they can get you to your classroom-- seems overwhelming to me. But I am excited for him either way.  Makes me remember back to Madison's 1st day of kindergarten.  Oh, what sweet memories.

Not sure why Myles look like he is under the influence of something in this pic-- but this is the aftermath of falling off of his bed one night :(  He is all healed and back to normal now!

Damian has been playing a lot lately.  One of the bands he is in, Orquesta Espada, has been keeping him VERY busy this month.  I was able to take the kids to go see him twice.  Once at the Hartford Jazz Festival and then just this past Monday at the Monday night Jazz on the green- both at Bushnell Park.  Unfortunately Madison missed out on both performances but Mayci and Myles had a blast.  For the Hartford Jazz Festival, they were kind enough to let the kids and I "backstage" in the VIP area.  The kids could eat, have cookies, run around, and Myles even made a friend.  I enjoyed it over there, but actually prefer sitting out in front where I can see the performers more.  But I was grateful nonetheless.

This month I started trying to come up with an organizational plan for the home and our lives in general.  This is all part of "Operation get some structure in this home"  Haven't made much headway yet, but something 's gotta give.  I also ran in my first 5k this month. Lisa and I did the Run or Dye on the 19th!  Had such a great time.  But, let me clarify- I COMPLETED my first 5K, I did not run the entire thing.  I only ran 2.5 miles of the 3.1 and it felt GOOD!!  I was so proud of myself!  My friend Jen and I are running another 5K on August 24th and participating in the Fitahlon in October, which is a 5k with timed obstacles.  oh crud-- speaking of which-- I need to sign up today for that one because the price goes up on Saturday.  My goal for age 31 was to run at least 4 5K, so I should probably start looking for another one.  Lisa is interested in the Electric Run, so that may be #4 for me. 

I hope you all had a fun filled July and here's to an even better August!!

 

I think Ms. Jaida  is trying to figure out if she like Aunt Michelle-- I get this face pretty much every time I hold her

 

Before getting "dyed" at the Run or Dye

 

 

 

 

Spending some quality time with Jaida Serai

 

 

This is Mayci after dance!!

Just a few pics from the playground while Madison and Myles were off doing other things:

 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY (May 10 -May 11, 2014)

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all of you Mother's out there.  I hope you all had a GREAT day/weekend!!

The weather was definitely in our favor this weekend.  The kids Saturday was filled with dance, helping Pop-Up out in the yard, bike rides, signing Mother's Day cards, making mother's day gifts, and watching movies.

Damian and I headed out late Saturday afternoon to New York. We spent the evening watching Luques play with Eddie Palmieri at the Blue Note and then Zaccai playing at FatCat.  Both performances were great as usual and I am glad Damian and I were able to get the chance to get away together for the night.  I, of course, have very limited pics but here are a couple from Luques' gig that Damian took:

Eddie Palmieri and Luques

The band, minus Eddie Palmieri

I am really trying to get better at this whole picture taking thing. I used to be so good.  And between smartphones and digital cameras, I really have no excuse.

Damian ran into several "old" friends and was able to catch up with them, and I also saw some familiar faces like Donald Harrison, Little Johnny, Lummie Span and Igmar Thomas.  It's always rare when I actually know or remember some of the people that we run into when we trek down to the city.

The kids stayed with Mama and PopUp and headed to New Haven on Sunday(mother's day) to see Mama-Ma and Mama's sisters (minus Ada who is loved and missed by all of us, and I am sure her kids were treating her EXTRA special down in Florida)

We rescue Mama and Popup from Madison, Myles, and Mayci in the middle of the afternoon so they could head to New York to spend time with both Zaccai and Luques.

We stopped briefly at Grandma Virginia and Grandpa Waynes' house to visit Grandma and wish her a happy mother's day as well.. The kids got her a card and also presented me with a balloon, card, and some mother's day coupons that Myles has informed are only valid every day until 7:00pm.

The rest of the evening was spent with the kids doing their own thing outside in the backyard(Myles and Mayci played together while Madison wrote some organizing lists), Damian working on some musical projects, and me just resting because I wasn't feeling that great.

Overall, this had been an incredibly wonderful weekend.  I hope everyone else can say the same!!

MIA no more!!!!!!!!

Just a glimpse of our faces since we have been gone for so long :)

4 MONTHS?!?!?!

I cannot believe that I allowed for 4 months to go by before even sitting down and truly taking the time to write in this darn blog.  Didn't I tell myself that the main reason for the blog was so that I could maintain steady up to date pictures of the kids, allow for myself to have "blog book" yearly to be able to look back on, and to a have an "outlet" to release some of my not so hidden feeling....

Okay, okay--I am not going to beat mysel fup for it.  I am not going to even try to catch up on the last 4 months...I have to focus on the here and now.  So I will just recap the month of June with maybe a few tidbits for the prior 3...hahaha!

March, April, and May kept the entire family busy with dance competitions for Madison, Myles 4th birthday( no party..we kept it simple this time around) , Mayci's many milestones of incorporating new words into her vocabulary, gaining some more teeth, and looking forward to her second birthday party.

Competition for Madison was extra exciting this year for her.  She was not only competing in groups but had a lyrical solo number as well.  She did quite well and managed to get into the top overalls for 2 out of 3 competitions and we are so proud of her.

Myles turned 4 on April 27th and is such a big boy.  Damian and I didn't host a party for him, finances and time were jut not on our side at this point, but Ted and Abby had a small gathering at their home for him. Such a nice time to be together with friends and family for happy occasions

Mayci has just been growing, learning, and exploring overs these past 3 months.  She speaks more and more each day and has us laughing quite a bit with her many facial expressions and silly ways.  She will be having a birthday party to celebrate her 2nd birthday at the end of June and I don't think she even realizes...even though I have been trying to teach her to show 2 fingers and tell people how old she is.

June always seems like such a short and busy month for this family,  Damian celebrated his 35th birthday, Madison celebrated her 10th.  Can't believe that I am even old enough to have a ten year old! School for Madison didn't even get out until the 24th, thanks to all of the snow days in the earlier months of winter.  Madison and Myles had their recital and oh goodness...I was so nervous about Myles but he did much better than I though.  I signed up for an adults hip hop class this year and we also danced in the recital.  Not my finest moment but I enjoyed myself all the same.


As we enter into July, we have a lot of things to look forward to.  Myles is playing soccer once a
week and is really enjoying it. They missed one week due to his coach being ill but he has asked ,e several times when he is going back.  Mayci is turning 2 on the 27th of this month and she will be having a Dora themed birthday party (ummmmmm--- I should probably start planning that and send out my invitations).

Madison starts dance back up after 3 weeks off.......that's bittersweet though- I
love to see her dance and know how much she enjoys it, but I would be lying if I said I didn't really enjoy not having to bring her back and forth.  Madison will also be attending the Tremaine dance workshop thing in NYC that she attended last year toward the end of the month.  Seems like the busyness never stops..

Broken, fearful, and seeking inspiration PART 1(WARNING:NO FAMILY UPDATES/PICS)

These past few weeks have been quite interesting.  I have probably spent a good part of it deep in thought. Much needed thought, mind you!
I am afraid...I am full of fear! I mean, I know most people have those select things that they are afraid of, but I have so many things, I cannot even narrow them down.  I am afraid of failure, I am afraid of change, I fear the unknown, I fear judgement, I fear loneliness while fearing a crowd at the same time.  Fear has seemed to consume many parts of my life, my day, my thoughts.

BUT NO MORE!!!!

My original plan for this blog was to just document the ins and outs of the kids lives..but you know what? I need somewhere to document some of my feelings also.  And what better way to conquer some of my fears but to use this blog as a personal journal also.  I will no longer fear negative feedback.  I will no longer allow myself to hold back with fear of someone viewing me differently.

Some things have been bothering me for a long time.  Things that I should not be holding in.  I truly believe that if you feel someone has hurt you, it is healthy to explain to them your feelings.  I, however, very rarely do this.  Unless of course it's my husband who has hurt me...I seem to have no problem lashing out on him at any given moment.  In fact, since I am trying to be completely honest here, he sometimes gets yelled at even if it is someone else that hurt me.  Hey--I have never claimed to be perfect.

I am afraid of starting trouble...because trouble begets more trouble begets more trouble.  And I also tend to be quite the hot head.  When I do allow something to get me completely worked up to the point where I cannot hold it in anymore, I EXPLODE! This is never a good thing and I am more aware of it now than ever.  Just a few days ago, I exploded and lets just say, well...there were dishes on the floor and a broken cup.  This is so not the way in which I want my children to see me or remember me as they get older.

It's this realization that has really had me searching for an outlet if you will.  I have been actively searching for this outlet to be to find something that I enjoy doing.  Do it yourself projects, crafting, writing this blog, writing in a journal, just finding something that is just for me.  But here comes that fear again.  The fear of change that tends to hold me back from much of what I envision myself to be.  I have just told myself that for the year 2013 I am going to make it my goal to find this outlet.  I am going to use Damian, Madison, Myles, and Mayci as my inspiration, as well as my faith in God.  I want to make these changes not only for MY happiness and My sanity, but for my family.  I want to be the mom that my children remember as happy, kind, considerate and I want to be the wife that my husband can describe as loving, supportive, beautiful, confident, nurturing.

I spend a lot of time comparing myself to other people.....what a way to make yourself feel like you are not good enough!!  I have always struggled with this, I mean, even back in middle and high school.  But I notice it being more detrimental to my self esteem now that I am both a wife and a mother.  I find myself noticing all the good qualities in other wives and mothers, but never finding the good in myself.  That wife always seems to greet her husband with a smile, that mom's children always look picture perfect.  And I take these thoughts and use them as the main ingredient to my self pity recipe that soon begins to cook.  I cannot do this anymore.  Why would I even want to be like anyone else?  Okay, so maybe I should greet my husband with a smile, but why on earth would I want my children to look picture perfect?  I want them to play, live life, get dirty, smell like the outdoors(well, when it's appropriate), to just HAVE FUN!!  And I want to begin to take time out to have some of that fun with them....

At this point, I am feeling broken, fearful, and seeking inspiration....Nothing left to do but to turn these feelings around and start fresh!!

So I am naming this as DAY 1 to my FORGET THAT FEAR and LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!  I hope you will be   a cheerleader for me in my journey!