Monday, February 25, 2013


Took this past Friday off to enjoy at least one day home with the kids during Madison's week long break(not to mention the fact that the darn family was suffering from stomach bugs, whooping coughs, and fevers).

Since Myles woke up still very feverish and having trouble catching his breath during his coughing fits, I decided to keep everyone hone to relax after Damian left for work.  My original plan had been to bring the kids to the science center with Lisa, so she came over and hung out with us instead.

In the midst of our boredom we attempted to make our own rendition of the Harlem Shake videos that have been floating around YouTube.  We cut the video too short, so its only about 30 seconds but  I guarantee it will have you giggling quite a bit.....

Please excuse the messiness in the background and Mayci's pee covered pants...I promise I changed them as soon as I stopped recording......

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Storm Nemo/ Charlotte 2013

FRIDAY FEB 8-10 glad that's over....even though it definitely could have been worse!  We were all home and safe and sound on Friday by about 1p...I was the only lucky one who got to go to work on Friday, and I went in a little early(6:30a) to ensure that by leaving early I would not lose out on too much of my earned vacation/personal time.  I like to use that time for things that I plan for, not because I have to.

 Madison, always the planner, had been in emergency storm preparation mode all day.  She had gone around the house looking for flashlights, glow sticks for her and Myles, candles, and batteries.  She even set up an area in the playroom with each of their favorite blankets, snacks, extra glow sticks....just in case. I was at work Friday morning so she sent em pictures of her work.

She started getting a little upset when it became clear that we were not going to be losing power, but was also enjoying the fact that she could keep her tablet charged without having to worry about how much battery power she was using.  Mayci and Myles, well they didn't even have a clue!!

Saturday morning was quite exciting for everyone when we opened the front door only to see that we were stuck in the house.  Being a little claustrophobic, my heart was pounding as I walked to the back door to make sure we had an escape route!  Damian wanted to get everything done nice and early so he went out to get started on the porch, walkway, and driveway...... more power to him.  I have to admit, while feeling quite a bit ashamed, I did not help very much at all....BUT-- I did make sure that he had a fresh pair of dry clothes and hot chocolate waiting for him when he was ready to take a break.
Do you see that little red speck on the right side of the picture in the middle of the snow?  Yup, that's the passenger side mirror of my car...took a while for us to get to the rest of it!! :)

I spent Saturday and Sunday scolding kids every once in a while and watching LOCK UP on Netflix (one of my guilty pleasures).  By the end of the day on Sunday I was already dreading getting up bright and early to go into work.....but money is tight as always, so I guess I should just be grateful that my job was open so I was going to be able to get paid and not use any of my vacation or personal time.

Broken, fearful, and seeking inspiration PART 1(WARNING:NO FAMILY UPDATES/PICS)

These past few weeks have been quite interesting.  I have probably spent a good part of it deep in thought. Much needed thought, mind you!
I am afraid...I am full of fear! I mean, I know most people have those select things that they are afraid of, but I have so many things, I cannot even narrow them down.  I am afraid of failure, I am afraid of change, I fear the unknown, I fear judgement, I fear loneliness while fearing a crowd at the same time.  Fear has seemed to consume many parts of my life, my day, my thoughts.


My original plan for this blog was to just document the ins and outs of the kids lives..but you know what? I need somewhere to document some of my feelings also.  And what better way to conquer some of my fears but to use this blog as a personal journal also.  I will no longer fear negative feedback.  I will no longer allow myself to hold back with fear of someone viewing me differently.

Some things have been bothering me for a long time.  Things that I should not be holding in.  I truly believe that if you feel someone has hurt you, it is healthy to explain to them your feelings.  I, however, very rarely do this.  Unless of course it's my husband who has hurt me...I seem to have no problem lashing out on him at any given moment.  In fact, since I am trying to be completely honest here, he sometimes gets yelled at even if it is someone else that hurt me.  Hey--I have never claimed to be perfect.

I am afraid of starting trouble...because trouble begets more trouble begets more trouble.  And I also tend to be quite the hot head.  When I do allow something to get me completely worked up to the point where I cannot hold it in anymore, I EXPLODE! This is never a good thing and I am more aware of it now than ever.  Just a few days ago, I exploded and lets just say, well...there were dishes on the floor and a broken cup.  This is so not the way in which I want my children to see me or remember me as they get older.

It's this realization that has really had me searching for an outlet if you will.  I have been actively searching for this outlet to be to find something that I enjoy doing.  Do it yourself projects, crafting, writing this blog, writing in a journal, just finding something that is just for me.  But here comes that fear again.  The fear of change that tends to hold me back from much of what I envision myself to be.  I have just told myself that for the year 2013 I am going to make it my goal to find this outlet.  I am going to use Damian, Madison, Myles, and Mayci as my inspiration, as well as my faith in God.  I want to make these changes not only for MY happiness and My sanity, but for my family.  I want to be the mom that my children remember as happy, kind, considerate and I want to be the wife that my husband can describe as loving, supportive, beautiful, confident, nurturing.

I spend a lot of time comparing myself to other people.....what a way to make yourself feel like you are not good enough!!  I have always struggled with this, I mean, even back in middle and high school.  But I notice it being more detrimental to my self esteem now that I am both a wife and a mother.  I find myself noticing all the good qualities in other wives and mothers, but never finding the good in myself.  That wife always seems to greet her husband with a smile, that mom's children always look picture perfect.  And I take these thoughts and use them as the main ingredient to my self pity recipe that soon begins to cook.  I cannot do this anymore.  Why would I even want to be like anyone else?  Okay, so maybe I should greet my husband with a smile, but why on earth would I want my children to look picture perfect?  I want them to play, live life, get dirty, smell like the outdoors(well, when it's appropriate), to just HAVE FUN!!  And I want to begin to take time out to have some of that fun with them....

At this point, I am feeling broken, fearful, and seeking inspiration....Nothing left to do but to turn these feelings around and start fresh!!

So I am naming this as DAY 1 to my FORGET THAT FEAR and LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!  I hope you will be   a cheerleader for me in my journey!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Breakin it down.....

I am working on several posts right which is taking a little more time than I had before I post that one, I figured I would post this cute video of Myles and Mayci dancing.  They are dancing to a song called is actually Madison;s solo song this year and the little ones were inspired while watching her and decided to do their own version......

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Myles love

So everyone knows my stories about Myles and his costumes.  As those close to me know,I have limited alot of his costume wearing when he is with me.  So today when I was picking him up from Abby's house...explained to me a his solution.  He has been slowly bringing his costmues to Mama's house and keeping them there in a laundry basket.  Here was our conversation:

Myles:  I love you so much Mommy

Me: Oh, I love you too (i dont hear i love you that much from this little kid, so i was super surprised)

Myles: Well I love you so I bring my costumes to Mama's house so I can wear them here since all I actually care about is love....serious..I'm so serious.  I care about love and costumes and I love you Mommy.


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Wait, huh, ....January is GONE?!?!?!

Still not alot of pictures from the past month.  I have really been struggling with trying to remember and be consistent with picture taking.  I forget sometimes that the pictures will last WAY longer than my memories. You would think it would be easier with Instagram, FB, iPads, iPods, digital cameras, and smart phones....but I still don't capture some of the most precious moments....definitely a goal for the rest of 2013.

I am proud to say that we have been REALLY conscious about attending church as a family every week.Myles and Madison have even both came to me saying how much they enjoy going to church...Madison said ESPECIALLY AS A FAMILY!!    We have missed a couple,  but rather than beat myself up over it, I acknowledge the effort and am confident that God knows where my heart stands with him.  Another goal that I am trying to focus on is my prayer time with God.  I have always believed in the power of prayer but am also aware that in order for it to be must do it.  I rededicated my life to the Lord earlier in January during our revival week and felt an immediate sense of change in my personal being.  With that said...I am not claiming to be perfect.  If you are reading this blog, then you are more than aware of many of flaws.  IN fact...I will be making a list of them soon in the  next post and writing what my goals are to fix some of them.

PS--I attempted a January daily photo challenge on Instagram...what an EPIC FAIL..hahahahaha...

But lets see.....the kids had a pretty mild January.....while looking back to the last month, I am trying to pin point some obvious milestones or exciting events--(ummm...hello Michelle--if you wrote more regularly, you wouldn't even have to look back to remember...that's one of the main points to a blog)

Mayci at 18 months seems to be learning new things every day.  She is definitely becoming quite the little master at getting her point across.  She has been trying to form new words on almost a daily basis.  Some of her most popular are: NO, daddy, mama(that would be for Grandma Abby), mommy(yay! that's me), hurt, ow, bye bye, hi, hello, Dora(think the explorer), Barney, movie, wa-her(water), baby, more, cookie, pizza, eat.......and the list is quickly growing.  She is Myles' little shadow, and that has become quite the entertainment in the house recently.

Myles is excitedly looking forward to turning 4 in April.  We have been talking more and more about school with him lately.  I am hoping to enroll him in preschool for September.  I have filled out an application to have him put in the lottery for a couple of Greater Hartford Magnet Schools...hopefully good news will come from that!  He his still Spiderman about 80% of the time, but still branches out on occasion to the Hulk, Batman, Doc Oc, and a number of made up superheros on any given day.  He was even "whiteman"(( pls don't think my son is racist..keep reading, you will understand)..which I think was his idea of Ghost man since he covered himself completely in powder...  And on days that he is not wearing his costume(normally when he is out with me) he likes to go by Peter Parker still and will begin to address me as Aunt May instead of Mommy.  I, like a fool, play along and almost always answer him.  At least he is talking to me, right??

Madison is in full dance mode right now.  Competition is starting in March and she has been working extremely hard on her 1st ever solo in addition to the 2 other competition dances and lessons she is taking.  She has quite the tight knit group of friends...a group of girls from dance and a couple from school, so we have started to get involved in some of the little kid drama.....this has been a little scary for me though.  I have had to speak with her about the importance of being empathetic to ALL of her friends feelings when in a large group and making an effort to include everyone.  The age of 9 has already brought us lots of surprises as far as friends and some of the ridiculous  interesting "learning opportunities" we have experienced from a variety of conflicts.  But I am doing the  best to help her find the positive in all of these situations.  I also am thinking that the terrifying inevitable puberty is right around the corner....some of her closest friends have already had "the talk" from their parents because they have come home with questions about things being heard on bus rides and at school...  I have not been confident enough to have "the talk" with her yet, but I am hoping to get prepared and do so in the most innocent, informative, truthful, and age appropriate way possible...ummmmmmmm dear You think You could

With the new year underway, Damian is hoping to really focus on his music more.  Not so much the gigs, and rehearsals...but more his personal love..Hip Hop and producing.  If I remember correctly he is working on his 2nd CD right now .... needless to say this will mean lots of time spent in the studio, and lots of floors vibrating while he has music on full blast in the basement while making beats-- oh the joy  of marrying a musician.

My hope is to finally get this house in order.  We have lived here for 1 yr and 5 months and I have many projects that I would like to work on and tons of ideas for this place.  While I want my home to always be inviting and lived in, I always want there to be a sense of style and classiness also.  The latter two of which I am lacking.  And if lived in is the nice word for messy...WOOOHOOOOO  there is something I have already accomplished.......

Here's to hoping for a little more consistency in blogging from here on out.....

Mr Myles in action during tap

Sideways pic of Mayci and her BFF it wrong to force a BFF on you

My current ALL TIME FAV pic of Miss Madison